my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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