Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
splinters make it hard to masturbate
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
