i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
