just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I can feel your judgement through the phone
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
