3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
