Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
