The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
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