Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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