I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
