I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
