i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize