so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
