just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
