ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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