You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
