check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize
