K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
