Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
