oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
meet me or not, i'm out of control
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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