wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Bring me that man meat
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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