Are we in a gay sports bar?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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