we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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