If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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