He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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