i may or may not be watching the land before time
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
