Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I party with great urgency now.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
