Kiss
Puke
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
