if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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