I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
