I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Ketchup is God's man juice
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
