So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize