she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
