why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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