Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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