Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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