She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Randomize
