i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
