Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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