'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
