Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
