Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
