just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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