why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
