you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
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