I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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