umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
