i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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