I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Randomize
