Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
My bed smells like the plague
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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