dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
