The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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