I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
