FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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