twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
This baby is an asshole
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
