WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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