I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
