He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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