I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Randomize
